I do what I want

You do not control me!

Can we talk about how much freaking effort it took for that diver to get into all of that gear just to take that stupid picture in the hot tub? You’re all fucking losers and I love you


Give your cat the  F L O A T I N G     J U D G E M E N T     B O X     to allow them to stare at your half finished work from afar


Give your cat the  F L O A T I N G     J U D G E M E N T     B O X     to allow them to stare at your half finished work from afar


One month to lift off, folks. So, let’s have some fun of the BEWARE THE WILD variety. 

And since it’s not a party until someone says nice things about my debut novel, allow me to kick things off right with a trifecta:

“A lovely modern fairy tale as tangled and dark as the swamp it lurks in. Parker’s debut is American myth at its very best!” —Kiersten White, NYT bestselling author

“Parker has a nice touch with the Southern flavor of Sterling’s Louisiana town, steeped in superstition and silence…This engaging debut should enjoy a wide audience.” —Kirkus Reviews

“A creepy, atmospheric book that will draw readers in…Beware the Wild breathes new life into the teen supernatural genre.” —School Library Journal

Now, it’s a party. And I’ve made all sorts of goodies for you, including the GIFs above. I’m giving away bookmarks for marking books, book plates (of which there are two designs and you must pick only one, Highlander style), magnets for magging nets, and I <3 YA Books bumper stickers. All are absolutely free with your pre-order of BEWARE THE WILD.

This post is going to be long enough as is, so let’s get right to it. I’m celebrating in two ways:


  1. Pre-order BEWARE THE WILD in hardback or ebook format from your favorite chain, independent, or online retailer, such as: IndieBound | Amazon Barnes & Noble | Book Depository

  2. Submit proof of purchase (email, scan, photo, etc. of your receipt) at, along with a valid mailing address.

  3. On October 21st, 2014, you will be mailed a signed bookmark, your choice of a cherry blossom or gator head bookplate, a fancy schmancy magnet, and an I <3 YA Books bumper sticker. (NOTE: These bumperstickers will accompany me on the  Roadside YA Tour in late October. The only ways to acquire these is to pre-order now or attend a tour event later). 

  4. Submissions for the giveaway close October 20th, 2014 at 11:59pm PST.

Now, because BEWARE THE WILD and BLUE LILY, LILY BLUE come out on the very same day and because one day long ago Maggie said to me, “Parker, stop whinging and write something good,” it’s cosmically significant that I find myself in possession of one of the oh-so-rare ARCs of BLLB. To keep myself good with the cosmos, I’m passing this good fortune on to one of you.

In addition, I’m giving away a small bundle of some of my favorite collections of words. They are: THE PARABLE OF THE SOWER by Octavia Butler, SAVING FRANCESCA by Melina Marchetta, THE BOOK OF THREE by Lloyd Alexander, and THE DARK IS RISING by Susan Cooper.

One winner will get all 5 books.


  1. Reblog this post and you will be automatically entered to win the stack of my favorite books along with the ARC of Maggie Stiefvater’s BLUE LILY, LILY BLUE. Only one reblog per person will be counted!

  2. Tweet some version of “Pre-order BEWARE THE WILD! Enter to win an ARC of BLUE LILIY, LILY BLUE! *include a link to this post here* #bewarethewild” for a bonus second entry. NOTE: Please use the hashtag so I can find it!

  3. For all the usual reasons, this contest is only open to those with a valid North American mailing address. (I wish it wasn’t so!)

  4. Submissions for the contest close September 30th, 2014 at 11:59pm PST.

  5. Just to be absolutely, 100%, no bones about it clear: no pre-order is necessary to enter this contest.

Good luck! Thank you! And So Say We All!

(cc: maggie-stiefvater kierstenwhite harpercollins epicreads onefourkidlit)

You should draw a puma wearing puma shoes.








I fucking lost it here


My book is… actually a real book. That’s out in stores. As of TODAY.
I honestly cannot deal.


My book is… actually a real book. That’s out in stores. As of TODAY.

I honestly cannot deal.

OH HEY GUESS WHAT, Robin Talley’s incredible debut LIES WE TELL OURSELVES is out today! To celebrate, the ladies of the Fourteenery are here to confess (okay, sort of, anonymously confess) a collection of lies have told lately—to ourselves and to others. 


Cake is calorie free.
I’ll just take a short little nap. 
Just one more reblog…
I’m going to get so much done today!
I’d love to head up the PTA.
I don’t miss it at all. 
I’ll just have a bite.
I’m definitely finishing this draft by the end of the month.
I can’t.
I didn’t mean to.
My sister did it. 
If I can just do/get ____, then I’ll be happy. 
Nobody saw that.


NO LIES HERE, THOUGH: we love you, Robin, and we are so proud of your gorgeous, amazing, important debut. We can’t wait to share Sarah and Linda’s story with the rest of the world. 





During the Bubonic Plague, doctors wore these bird-like masks to avoid becoming sick. They would fill the beaks with spices and rose petals, so they wouldn’t have to smell the rotting bodies. 

A theory during the Bubonic Plague was that the plague was caused by evil spirits. To scare the spirits away, the masks were intentionally designed to be creepy. 

Mission fucking accomplished

Okay so I love this but it doesn’t cover the half of why the design is awesome and actually borders on making sense.

It wasn’t just that they didn’t want to smell the infected and dead, they thought it was crucial to protecting themselves. They had no way of knowing about what actually caused the plague, and so one of the other theories was that the smell of the infected all by itself was evil and could transmit the plague. So not only would they fill their masks with aromatic herbs and flowers, they would also burn fires in public areas, so that the smell of the smoke would “clear the air”. This all related to the miasma theory of contagion, which was one of the major theories out there until the 19th century. And it makes sense, in a way. Plague victims smelled awful, and there’s a general correlation between horrible septic smells and getting horribly sick if you’re around what causes them for too long.

You can see now that we’ve got two different theories as to what caused the plague that were worked into the design. That’s because the whole thing was an attempt by the doctors to cover as many bases as they could think of, and we’re still not done.

The glass eyepieces. They were either darkened or red, not something you generally want to have to contend with when examining patients. But the plague might be spread by eye contact via the evil eye, so best to ward that off too.

The illustration shows a doctor holding a stick. This was an examination tool, that helped the doctors keep some distance between themselves and the infected. They already had gloves on, but the extra level of separation was apparently deemed necessary. You could even take a pulse with it. Or keep people the fuck away from you, which was apparently a documented use.

Finally, the robe. It’s not just to look fancy, the cloth was waxed, as were all of the rest of their clothes. What’s one of the properties of wax? Water-based fluids aren’t absorbed by it. This was the closest you could get to a sterile, fully protecting garment back then. Because at least one person along the line was smart enough to think “Gee, I’d really rather not have the stuff coming out of those weeping sores anywhere on my person”.

So between all of these there’s a real sense that a lot of real thought was put into making sure the doctors were protected, even if they couldn’t exactly be sure from what. They worked with what information they had. And frankly, it’s a great design given what was available! You limit exposure to aspirated liquids, limit exposure to contaminated liquids already present, you limit contact with the infected. You also don’t give fleas any really good place to hop onto. That’s actually useful.

Beyond that, there were contracts the doctors would sign before they even got near a patient. They were to be under quarantine themselves, they wouldn’t treat patients without a custodian monitoring them and helping when something had to be physically contacted, and they would not treat non-plague patients for the duration. There was an actual system in place by the time the plague doctors really became a thing to make sure they didn’t infect anyone either.

These guys were the product of the scientific process at work, and the scientific process made a bitchin’ proto-hazmat suit. And containment protocols!

reblogging for the sweet history lesson


Paint in Motion: The art of Adam S. Doyle [via]


Weekly YA Spotlight: A selection of the most anticipated new YA novels released this week (28/09 - 04/10)

The Ghosts of Heaven by Marcus Sedgwick ✤ Oct 3rd

Cooper Bartholomew is Dead by Rebecca James ✤ Oct 1st

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley ✤ Sep 30th

Dead Zone (Blackout #2) by Robison Wells ✤ Sep 30th

Invisible (The Twixt #2) by Dawn Metcalf ✤ Sep 30th

The Only Thing to Fear by Caroline Tung Richmond ✤ Sep 30th

 Check out the rest of this month’s new YA releases here!